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Warmth & Comfort without Food
By: Jonny Bowden
It almost seems like an oxymoron. Food is so powerfully connected to feelings that it seems
impossible to consider food apart from its context. For many people, the mere thought of a
favorite food evokes powerful associations fusing image, taste, sensation, feeling, emotion
and memory into a mixture that is near impossible to separate into its constituent parts.
Indeed, this is precisely the pit into which most folks attempting to change their eating habits
fall, and from which many never successfully climb out.
In other words, when the boyfriend dumps you, buttered string beans and grilled fish just
don't cut it.
Oh how we wish it did -- that comfort and consolation, peace and calm could be found in a
forkful of tofu casserole rather than a creme brulee. That at the end of a stressful day, the
pint of gourmet ice cream did not sing its siren song quite so loudly. That the familiar voices
in our heads ("It's not going to kill me," "I deserve it," "I can start tomorrow") were not so well
miked.
But they are. And if we're going to be successful in managing our weight, we need to stop
waiting for them to shut up and learn how to live amidst their annoying chatter.
Living with our cravings
One of the most valuable lessons I ever learned came when I quit smoking. Like many
people, I figured eventually the craving would stop, I wouldn't think about cigarettes so much,
and the habit would just sort of go away by itself. Big mistake. It's been more than 10 years,
and even now (very rarely, it's true) I'll get an urge to fill my lungs with irritating, carcinogenic,
cancer-producing cigarette smoke. Don't ask me why. The important thing is that I don't do it.
What I learned when I finally stopped smoking was that I could HAVE the impulse to do
something stupid and destructive and yet not empower it. I could notice it, watch it,
experience it and let it float by, rather than being sucked into the vacuum of its pull.
By: Jonny Bowden
It almost seems like an oxymoron. Food is so powerfully connected to feelings that it seems
impossible to consider food apart from its context. For many people, the mere thought of a
favorite food evokes powerful associations fusing image, taste, sensation, feeling, emotion
and memory into a mixture that is near impossible to separate into its constituent parts.
Indeed, this is precisely the pit into which most folks attempting to change their eating habits
fall, and from which many never successfully climb out.
In other words, when the boyfriend dumps you, buttered string beans and grilled fish just
don't cut it.
Oh how we wish it did -- that comfort and consolation, peace and calm could be found in a
forkful of tofu casserole rather than a creme brulee. That at the end of a stressful day, the
pint of gourmet ice cream did not sing its siren song quite so loudly. That the familiar voices
in our heads ("It's not going to kill me," "I deserve it," "I can start tomorrow") were not so well
miked.
But they are. And if we're going to be successful in managing our weight, we need to stop
waiting for them to shut up and learn how to live amidst their annoying chatter.
Living with our cravings
One of the most valuable lessons I ever learned came when I quit smoking. Like many
people, I figured eventually the craving would stop, I wouldn't think about cigarettes so much,
and the habit would just sort of go away by itself. Big mistake. It's been more than 10 years,
and even now (very rarely, it's true) I'll get an urge to fill my lungs with irritating, carcinogenic,
cancer-producing cigarette smoke. Don't ask me why. The important thing is that I don't do it.
What I learned when I finally stopped smoking was that I could HAVE the impulse to do
something stupid and destructive and yet not empower it. I could notice it, watch it,
experience it and let it float by, rather than being sucked into the vacuum of its pull.
Warmth & Comfort without Food
By: Jonny Bowden
That's empowerment.
And it doesn't necessarily come cheap.
Emotional causes of cravings
From infancy, we cry when we're hungry and stop when we're fed. We learn that the pain and
discomfort of hunger can be stopped by a bottle, replaced with the warm fuzzy comfort of a full tummy
and often accompanied by affection and a soothing voice. Food becomes the means by which we
soothe emotional distress; the tool with which we self-medicate our anxieties and hurts, desperation
and loneliness; the surrogate for human contact or the bridge with which we form connections. Food is
celebration: Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays and holidays. Food is social: gatherings, lunches,
buffets, dinners and dating.
Food becomes a friend who is reliably, consistently, dependably there.
No wonder dieters feel they are going mad.
Biological causes of cravings
What's more: Like a drug, the most destructive foods feed addictions. High-carbohydrate, high-sugar
convenience and comfort foods produce correspondingly high blood sugar and insulin levels, which
lead to even more cravings. They also produce higher levels of serotonin -- in other words, "instant
Prozac." In sensitive people, particularly those who may have low serotonin levels to begin with, a
carbohydrate binge is the equivalent of self-medicating. I've heard more than a few folks describe the
feeling after a sugar binge as being almost "high."
By: Jonny Bowden
That's empowerment.
And it doesn't necessarily come cheap.
Emotional causes of cravings
From infancy, we cry when we're hungry and stop when we're fed. We learn that the pain and
discomfort of hunger can be stopped by a bottle, replaced with the warm fuzzy comfort of a full tummy
and often accompanied by affection and a soothing voice. Food becomes the means by which we
soothe emotional distress; the tool with which we self-medicate our anxieties and hurts, desperation
and loneliness; the surrogate for human contact or the bridge with which we form connections. Food is
celebration: Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays and holidays. Food is social: gatherings, lunches,
buffets, dinners and dating.
Food becomes a friend who is reliably, consistently, dependably there.
No wonder dieters feel they are going mad.
Biological causes of cravings
What's more: Like a drug, the most destructive foods feed addictions. High-carbohydrate, high-sugar
convenience and comfort foods produce correspondingly high blood sugar and insulin levels, which
lead to even more cravings. They also produce higher levels of serotonin -- in other words, "instant
Prozac." In sensitive people, particularly those who may have low serotonin levels to begin with, a
carbohydrate binge is the equivalent of self-medicating. I've heard more than a few folks describe the
feeling after a sugar binge as being almost "high."
Warmth & Comfort without Food
By: Jonny Bowden
So what to do?
Here are the top 10 things I've learned to ask myself when it seems as if nothing will do the trick besides the
food I want the most and need the least:
What am I really feeling?
Can I just BE with this feeling?
If I eat this food, or go on this binge, what is it costing me?
What's really important to me right now?
Is there a better way to take care of myself?
What gift can I give myself right now that won't cost me my power?
How can I nurture myself right now without hurting myself?
If I were a child right now, how would I like to be comforted?
What could I do right now that would make me feel good tomorrow?
And finally, and perhaps most important
of all ...
If I DO eat this comfort food, can I savor it, enjoy it, relish it and then let it go -- without beating myself up and
without giving up on my commitment?
If the answer to the last question is yes, well then ...
Bon appetit.
source
By: Jonny Bowden
So what to do?
Here are the top 10 things I've learned to ask myself when it seems as if nothing will do the trick besides the
food I want the most and need the least:
What am I really feeling?
Can I just BE with this feeling?
If I eat this food, or go on this binge, what is it costing me?
What's really important to me right now?
Is there a better way to take care of myself?
What gift can I give myself right now that won't cost me my power?
How can I nurture myself right now without hurting myself?
If I were a child right now, how would I like to be comforted?
What could I do right now that would make me feel good tomorrow?
And finally, and perhaps most important
of all ...
If I DO eat this comfort food, can I savor it, enjoy it, relish it and then let it go -- without beating myself up and
without giving up on my commitment?
If the answer to the last question is yes, well then ...
Bon appetit.
source
Even the 2005 U.S. Department of Agriculture Dietary Guidelines give the green light to a little
government-sanctioned cheating--thanks to the "discretionary calories" now allowed. Translation: It's
perfectly OK to have a few sweet and gooey treats (the guidelines suggest 10-15 percent of the day's
calories). But before you get down to cashing in your discretionary calories, keep in mind the following
ground rules for cheating without paying too high a price.
1 Get over the guilt.
Your new mantra is, "Nothing is forbidden." Once you've accepted that dietary basic, guilt is banned from
the table. "Guilt can cause you to disconnect from your real feelings about food," says Marsha Hudnall,
M.S., R.D., program director at Green Mountain at Fox Run in Ludlow, Vt., a women-only healthy
weight-loss retreat. Any behavior that's driven by guilt is hard to control; eating is no exception. Instead of
focusing on your guilt, opt for a rational assessment of portion sizes. You can have anything your heart
desires, if moderation is your MO and you keep portions under control. It's those all-you-can-eat buffets at
your company's annual holiday dinner party, and jumbo servings at most eateries and at home that
ultimately expand your waistline, not the occasional splurge.
2 If you cheat, make sure to do it in a public place.
Call off that illicit affair between you and those crispy french fries. (Admit it; when was the last time you ate
your favorite cheat food around family and friends?) Exposing your secret desire to the light of day takes
away the irresistible allure, and with it, much of the temptation. "I believe one of the most important skills to
have is to learn how to splurge, then go back to healthy eating right away," says Katherine Tallmadge,
M.A., R.D., author of Diet Simple: 192 Mental Tricks, Substitutions, Habits & Inspirations (LifeLine, 2004).
Her advice: Go ahead and splurge in front of others, and then get on with your life.
3 Break the chain that links cheating with a lack of willpower.
You may have eaten one serving too many of your Mom's pecan pie a la mode, but don't think of it as a
loss of will-power. Think of it as a well-considered decision you made: You weighed your options and
decided to go for it. Now move on. Dwelling on indulgences and regretting your actions does nothing but
diminish your successes. Besides, Tallmadge says, "Research has found that inflexible, restrictive diets
are more likely to result in relapses and ultimately a regain of the weight you've lost.
4 Don't try to be an angel. Aim for progress, not perfection.
You enjoy chocolate. OK, so in truth you're actually a certified chocoholic. A day without a bite of the dark
stuff for you just isn't complete. However, since you've started on your new healthy eating program, you've
managed to whittle your chocolate fixes to only a couple a week. That's progress, to be sure, but not
perfection. And that's a good thing: If dietary perfection is your goal, we hate to burst your bubble--but
disappointment and failure are guaranteed. Remember, says Louisville, Ky., nutritionist and exercise
physiologist Christopher R. Mohr, Ph.D., R.D., you can still keep good nutrition in mind even when
indulging. "When you cheat, focus on foods that also provide a benefit, like dark chocolate, which packs a
healthy dose of antioxidants," Mohr suggests.
5 It's absolutely OK, and even appropriate, to skip certain meals!
If you're not hungry, you shouldn't eat. As if you needed someone like Shape to remind you of that! But
think about it. How many times during the holiday season have you munched away on any number of
indulgences because of social obligation when you were nowhere near hungry? This particular rule
requires a little internal reality check, but once you become tuned in to your real feelings of hunger (your
stomach starts to growl, you feel truly empty and you might even feel the beginning of a headache coming
on), mindless munching becomes a thing of the past. "Many of us eat when we're not hungry because
we've learned to soothe ourselves with food--we've become emotional eaters," Hudnall says. "The trick to
separating physical hunger from emotional hunger is to know how your own body signals a need for food."
And once you get a handle on that, you'll be far less likely to overindulge for emotional reasons.
cheater's tip
Go ahead and splurge on those fries. Then go right back to healthy eating afterward.
read the rest click here.
government-sanctioned cheating--thanks to the "discretionary calories" now allowed. Translation: It's
perfectly OK to have a few sweet and gooey treats (the guidelines suggest 10-15 percent of the day's
calories). But before you get down to cashing in your discretionary calories, keep in mind the following
ground rules for cheating without paying too high a price.
1 Get over the guilt.
Your new mantra is, "Nothing is forbidden." Once you've accepted that dietary basic, guilt is banned from
the table. "Guilt can cause you to disconnect from your real feelings about food," says Marsha Hudnall,
M.S., R.D., program director at Green Mountain at Fox Run in Ludlow, Vt., a women-only healthy
weight-loss retreat. Any behavior that's driven by guilt is hard to control; eating is no exception. Instead of
focusing on your guilt, opt for a rational assessment of portion sizes. You can have anything your heart
desires, if moderation is your MO and you keep portions under control. It's those all-you-can-eat buffets at
your company's annual holiday dinner party, and jumbo servings at most eateries and at home that
ultimately expand your waistline, not the occasional splurge.
2 If you cheat, make sure to do it in a public place.
Call off that illicit affair between you and those crispy french fries. (Admit it; when was the last time you ate
your favorite cheat food around family and friends?) Exposing your secret desire to the light of day takes
away the irresistible allure, and with it, much of the temptation. "I believe one of the most important skills to
have is to learn how to splurge, then go back to healthy eating right away," says Katherine Tallmadge,
M.A., R.D., author of Diet Simple: 192 Mental Tricks, Substitutions, Habits & Inspirations (LifeLine, 2004).
Her advice: Go ahead and splurge in front of others, and then get on with your life.
3 Break the chain that links cheating with a lack of willpower.
You may have eaten one serving too many of your Mom's pecan pie a la mode, but don't think of it as a
loss of will-power. Think of it as a well-considered decision you made: You weighed your options and
decided to go for it. Now move on. Dwelling on indulgences and regretting your actions does nothing but
diminish your successes. Besides, Tallmadge says, "Research has found that inflexible, restrictive diets
are more likely to result in relapses and ultimately a regain of the weight you've lost.
4 Don't try to be an angel. Aim for progress, not perfection.
You enjoy chocolate. OK, so in truth you're actually a certified chocoholic. A day without a bite of the dark
stuff for you just isn't complete. However, since you've started on your new healthy eating program, you've
managed to whittle your chocolate fixes to only a couple a week. That's progress, to be sure, but not
perfection. And that's a good thing: If dietary perfection is your goal, we hate to burst your bubble--but
disappointment and failure are guaranteed. Remember, says Louisville, Ky., nutritionist and exercise
physiologist Christopher R. Mohr, Ph.D., R.D., you can still keep good nutrition in mind even when
indulging. "When you cheat, focus on foods that also provide a benefit, like dark chocolate, which packs a
healthy dose of antioxidants," Mohr suggests.
5 It's absolutely OK, and even appropriate, to skip certain meals!
If you're not hungry, you shouldn't eat. As if you needed someone like Shape to remind you of that! But
think about it. How many times during the holiday season have you munched away on any number of
indulgences because of social obligation when you were nowhere near hungry? This particular rule
requires a little internal reality check, but once you become tuned in to your real feelings of hunger (your
stomach starts to growl, you feel truly empty and you might even feel the beginning of a headache coming
on), mindless munching becomes a thing of the past. "Many of us eat when we're not hungry because
we've learned to soothe ourselves with food--we've become emotional eaters," Hudnall says. "The trick to
separating physical hunger from emotional hunger is to know how your own body signals a need for food."
And once you get a handle on that, you'll be far less likely to overindulge for emotional reasons.
cheater's tip
Go ahead and splurge on those fries. Then go right back to healthy eating afterward.
read the rest click here.