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Whether or not you’ve ever personally had a drinking problem, you’re probably aware of the organization
known as Alcoholics Anonymous. But what about those people - particularly the rich and famous - whose
lives no longer allow for anonymity? Lindsay Lohan is the latest high-profile celebrity to enter into Alcoholics
Not Anonymous, and these are the 12 steps she must take to recover her celebrity status:
Step One: Admitting That You Are Powerless Over the Paparazzi - and That Your Public Image Has Become
Unmanagable.
Step Two: Came to Believe That a Power Greater Than Our Publicist Could Restore Our Image to Good-
Standing.
Step Three: Made a Decision To Turn Our Lives Over to the Will of A Luxury Rehabilitation Facility as We
Understand It.
Step Four: Made a Fearless and Searching Inventory of the Pills In Our Purse.
Step Five: Admitted to the Press, and Our Fans, the Least Embarassing Aspects of Our Problems.
Step Six: Made Ourselves Ready to Have the Media Remove These Defects of Character.
Step Seven: Humbly Asked Oprah to Overlook Our Shortcomings.
Step Eight: Made a List of All Those We Had Harmed, and Became Willing To Let Them Have a Second
Chance.
Step Nine: Sent Nice Text Messages to Such People Wherever Possible, Except When to do so Would Let
Those Bitches Think They Won.
Step Ten: Continued to Keep A Low Profile and Relegate All the Partying to Private Locations.
Step Eleven: Sought Through Beggary and Prostitution to Improve Our Relationship With Movie Studios,
Imploring only for Another Chance to Be a Famous Actress and Roles to Make That Happen.
Step Twelve: Having Had a Professional Comeback as the Result of These Steps, We Tried to Stay Away
From Other Alcoholics, and to Not Party So Much We That We Have To Do All of This Again.
If you didn't know already, Lindsay Lohan is in Rehab, but don't worry, she's having a great time. She's
chilling out, relaxing, chilaxing, even. But you don't have to take my word for it, Lindsay Lohan said so
herself in a phone interview with OK! Magazine.
I'm doing so great, thanks. I'm fine. Nothing to worry about. Thank you so much for checking in, I do
appreciate it. I'm actually watching American Idol at the moment and laughing so hard!
Um, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be on the phone in rehab, but whatever. Of course, if that's not
enough to convince you that Lindsay Lohan's rehab experience is off to a super duper start, just ask her
mother, Dina Lohan. She chatted with Star Magazine, and had this to say:
I'm so proud of her. She's really in a good place right now, spiritually and mentally. She's in an amazing,
phenomenal place. She's 20 and she's solid, and she's doing what she needs to do. I don't know that many
people who are that secure. It's all about her, and getting back on track. She's fine — she's amazingly fine.
Wow! Lindsay is amazingly fine. If you ask me, Dina Lohan needs a bit of time in rehab too, because from the
sound of it, she's got to be high on something.
At least we don't have to worry about a newly clean and sober Lindsay Lohan ruining our future gossip news.
As far as I can tell, she's gonna come out the other end just itching to relapse, and boy are we going to be
there for every second of it. This is just the beginning.
And here are some Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures. Just because
known as Alcoholics Anonymous. But what about those people - particularly the rich and famous - whose
lives no longer allow for anonymity? Lindsay Lohan is the latest high-profile celebrity to enter into Alcoholics
Not Anonymous, and these are the 12 steps she must take to recover her celebrity status:
Step One: Admitting That You Are Powerless Over the Paparazzi - and That Your Public Image Has Become
Unmanagable.
Step Two: Came to Believe That a Power Greater Than Our Publicist Could Restore Our Image to Good-
Standing.
Step Three: Made a Decision To Turn Our Lives Over to the Will of A Luxury Rehabilitation Facility as We
Understand It.
Step Four: Made a Fearless and Searching Inventory of the Pills In Our Purse.
Step Five: Admitted to the Press, and Our Fans, the Least Embarassing Aspects of Our Problems.
Step Six: Made Ourselves Ready to Have the Media Remove These Defects of Character.
Step Seven: Humbly Asked Oprah to Overlook Our Shortcomings.
Step Eight: Made a List of All Those We Had Harmed, and Became Willing To Let Them Have a Second
Chance.
Step Nine: Sent Nice Text Messages to Such People Wherever Possible, Except When to do so Would Let
Those Bitches Think They Won.
Step Ten: Continued to Keep A Low Profile and Relegate All the Partying to Private Locations.
Step Eleven: Sought Through Beggary and Prostitution to Improve Our Relationship With Movie Studios,
Imploring only for Another Chance to Be a Famous Actress and Roles to Make That Happen.
Step Twelve: Having Had a Professional Comeback as the Result of These Steps, We Tried to Stay Away
From Other Alcoholics, and to Not Party So Much We That We Have To Do All of This Again.
If you didn't know already, Lindsay Lohan is in Rehab, but don't worry, she's having a great time. She's
chilling out, relaxing, chilaxing, even. But you don't have to take my word for it, Lindsay Lohan said so
herself in a phone interview with OK! Magazine.
I'm doing so great, thanks. I'm fine. Nothing to worry about. Thank you so much for checking in, I do
appreciate it. I'm actually watching American Idol at the moment and laughing so hard!
Um, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be on the phone in rehab, but whatever. Of course, if that's not
enough to convince you that Lindsay Lohan's rehab experience is off to a super duper start, just ask her
mother, Dina Lohan. She chatted with Star Magazine, and had this to say:
I'm so proud of her. She's really in a good place right now, spiritually and mentally. She's in an amazing,
phenomenal place. She's 20 and she's solid, and she's doing what she needs to do. I don't know that many
people who are that secure. It's all about her, and getting back on track. She's fine — she's amazingly fine.
Wow! Lindsay is amazingly fine. If you ask me, Dina Lohan needs a bit of time in rehab too, because from the
sound of it, she's got to be high on something.
At least we don't have to worry about a newly clean and sober Lindsay Lohan ruining our future gossip news.
As far as I can tell, she's gonna come out the other end just itching to relapse, and boy are we going to be
there for every second of it. This is just the beginning.
And here are some Lindsay Lohan bikini pictures. Just because
